The girl you see in this pic is like the greatest person in the world. She does have her quirks but honestly who doesn't.
So every morning she wakes up laughing and smiling (unless she is on that 7 day cleanse). Then lets just say it aint pretty! And finally after 6 months of being together she gets my sarcasm! Alleuyah
So things I love about her: She is always laughing at my silly jokes or when I tell her I will cut her or shank her... Even tonight when I told her I would push her down the stairs she simply sat there and saw me laugh and cry. Oh man she is a good sport. ( I promise I don't actually go through with it)
Suffice it to say this girl is awesome and always makes me laugh!!! I am glad we are roomies and I am glad she lets me laugh at her expense. She is truly a blessing in my life!
Ether 12:12 For if there be no faith among the children of men God can do no miracle among them; wherefore, he showed not himself until after their faith.
When I went home I experienced many wonderful miracles.
After almost 10 years my sister was finally able to enter the Boston LDS Temple to receive her endowments. While life has not been easy for her she always remained faithful and it did not go unnoticed by the Lord. On March 16, 2013, I was able to enter the Temple with my sister and be her escort for her endowment session. I cannot begin to express the joy I felt. I saw the miracles the Lord has poured over her because of her desire to follow him. I was able to see how the Lord was shaping her life and how through her obedience she was given the opportunity to learn more of the Lord and make sacred covenants with him. I will never forget that day!
So last year my big sister "Maggie" and I hit a really rough patch in our relationship. After many years of misleading information, my sister was finally able to figure out the truth about my past. After I forced her to tell me she finally told me everything I couldn't remember about my past. Despite all the information I had finally acquired I quickly realized that I was not mentally prepared. So instead of going to her for help, I ran away and came back to Utah. With tears in her eyes she explained to me that I had caused her great pain and that she would never open herself up to me ever again. The next day I left. During Christmas break I was able to spend time with a good friend. The whole time there I thought of my family and how much I missed them. My sister in particular. I grew a sudden desire to fix my relationship with her. On our ride back my friend counseled me to pray so that the lord could help me fix the broken relationship I had with my sister. That night I remembered praying. A few months later I wrote my sister and we chatted for a bit and I had a strong feeling I needed to go home. When I arrived to my surprise my sister and I spoke a lot. I came to her for guidance and at one point she said she was glad I was there and gave me a hug. We grew very close in a short time and I remember when I left I just found myself loving her more than ever. What a blessing I thought. The Lord answered my prayer and I got my sister back.
Over all the visit was great! God lives and he listens to our prayers!! I love you all and stay tuned more postings coming soon...
Mormon 9:20-21 "And the reason why he ceaseth to domiraclesamong the children of men is because that they dwindle in unbelief, and depart from the right way, and know not the God in whom they shouldtrust. Behold, I say unto you that whoso believeth in Christ, doubting nothing,whatsoeverhe shall ask the Father in the name of Christ it shall be granted him; and thispromiseis unto all, even unto the ends of the earth."
Yesterday was a day I perhaps will never forget. There are only a few moments that really tear through my heart and into my soul. Yesterday was one of those days.
I woke up pretty early in the morning to read my scriptures. Something I had decided I wanted to do because I realized 1st I am more alert, 2nd I can start my day with positive words and 3rd I wanted to make sure I was not forgetting to read my scriptures. I read in D&C 107-108 and the two verses that stood out to me the most that day were in D&C 108:4. "Wait patiently..." and verse 8 " And, behold and lo, I am with you to bless you and deliver you forever. Amen." I felt such a peace after reading these words. I knew I had made the right choice.
As I arrived to work I began feeling all this bad feelings. See I used to work at Mongo's and although many of you don't know I faced a lot of discrimination. My boss would yell at me or send me very unprofessional text messages and fairness and equality would just go out the window at work. I always felt unappreciated even when I did the job of two. Well yesterday the boss's son decided to approach me in front of customers and tell me that he was missing three days of tips. Now let me ask you a question. How fair is this?! I work my butt off earn less than the host and do more than the host and at the end of the day I have to give the host 10% of what I make! He never lifted a finger to help, but I figured I needed to do what was right. I told him I had given his tips to the host who had replaced him two days ago. He said that didn't include the last days. He went on to say that I needed to learn how to do my job right! And he just went off. I told him he didn't need to talk to me like that and after noticing that he wasn't going to stop I walked away. Sometimes you just need to walk away. That way you can have time to breath, to think things over and to figure out the best way to approach things. I went to take care of my customers and when I came back he put an envelop in my face and told me that from now on he wanted me to put his money in that envelope. I swear at that moment all I saw was red!!!!!! I was so angry my hand was even shaking. I pretty much told him that I was not trying to steal his money. He dared to call me a THIEF!!!! I told him he will never call me a thief again! I had no need to take his money. No need to!!! I made enough to cover my stuff and 6 dollars less wasn't going to hurt me. As I was leaving for my shift I saw him talking to a co worker. I gave him more than he deserved but I told him that if he ever had a problem with me he needed to come to me! I was so tired of all the professionalism at that place! I was so mad that I as soon as I walked into my friends car I began to cry. I was so humiliated! I was hurt! How can people do things like that and just get away with it?! I mean this is only one thing I am reporting but there were a lot more!!! I came home and talked to my roommate. She consoled me but I was still so angry. Then I got a text from my boss! He pretty much threatened to fire me if that ever happened again. He never let me explain myself and when I wanted to defend myself he called me a liar!!! This made things even worst!!!!!! I decided to get a blessing from two friends in my ward. As soon as the blessing was over I wasn't angry anymore but I was hurt. Yet I was not alone. The Lord was there and my friends were there!
That night I talked to my very good friend and Relief Society President. We read some scriptures and I felt the spirit so strong. I was humbled by the experienced and remember the letter Britt had sent me a few weeks ago.
Then I realized that I have noticed a pattern in my life. I get blessings and then trials come, every time just a bit harder. However, the blessings I receive after I succeed is above all that I can imagine. Now let me just share with you a bit of the great blessings I have received from my HF thus far. A few months ago my mother came. We got to spend some quality time together and this was huge because the last time we saw each other I didn't want to see her again. Soon after she decided she wanted to join the church. This is HUGE!!! I have been teaching her for over 6 years and I never thought she would ever decide to get baptized. Then my sister decides that its time she gets endowed! This is ALSO huge because my sister is so special to me and I am so happy she is moving forward and progressing spiritually. Then the best news of all I got readmitted to BYU. I am able to graduate and have an education and soon a career so I can provide for my family. Still I have not mentioned the greatest blessing my heavenly father could have given me. Britt! I love him so much and I am so happy that we are both eager to get sealed in the temple for all eternity! I am so glad we are both apart for this time. Since he has been gone I have been able to learn more about myself, Britt and I have gotten to know more about each other and grown spiritually closer, and I have been able to establish a relationship with my heavenly father. I have learned to put him first and trust him. Of course with each trial I fear a bit but he never lets me down. I know it now. I know I am not alone.
Actually a few days ago I had a very precious moment. I was crying because I was miserable from work and because I missed having Britt with me to hold me and make me feel safe. As I sat there I felt a voice that spoke to me and said " You are not alone! Come to me. I am here!" Even now I cry because I get so overwhelmed with the great love the lord has for me!
So do we forgive? We all have a choice! This is key to remember. To let go of those feelings and to bring them all to the Lord and allow him to heal you that's your choice. Its hard but its not impossible. Remember: (We) "can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth (us)." Philippians 4:13. I promise you this, as soon as you allow the Lord to enter your soul and heal you from all that pain and sadness, your spirit will rejoice because you are once again whole! He has that power, remember this. The Lord knows all. We must always remain strong and faithful even when times get hard. Hold on to the Lord for dear life and he will guide you!
I added this video because the story is so powerful and the message is about forgiveness. Listen to how this man forgave the man who killed his wife and kids. Listen to the peace he felt after he let go of all those feelings. Listen to how he grew closer to God.
I love you all. Please post any comments you may have. Have a great day!!!!
On September 2011, I met Britt Massey! He is so funny and he understands my sarcasm which is awesome.This is Britt and me at the ward camping trip where we first met. We clicked pretty much instantly.
September 2011
Britt and I became quite close. We would work out together, go swimming or watch The Big Bang Theory. Sometimes after a hard day we would just watch a movie and he would just play with my hair and scratch my arm. That was always my favorite part. Unfortunately because it was so relaxing I would always fall asleep hahaha (I don't think he cared too much for this) And as much as he hated big events he always supported me with my potlucks, he even hosted potluck at his place!(you can imagine how uncomfortable this was for him).
He was pretty much my go-to guy. He would always just listen and never judge, and he would just make me laugh all the time. He was actually a very good support system when I was going through my heartbreak.
This was the same day he drove to the airport to pick me up :)
Can you believe I called him and told him, "I am flying home tomorrow I need to go home" and he just said "What time should I pick you up?!" That is just the type of man Britt is, always giving and always caring.
The summer was quickly coming to an end, and that only meant one thing... He was gonna leave for two years to serve a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
A couple of weeks before he was leaving things took an interesting turn. Britt and I began growing closer and closer. One day it just happened. Suddenly we kissed!!! It felt unreal but it felt natural, normal as though it was meant to be... We began growing a lot as a couple. We would read our scriptures together and talk about a few more personal things. We began to see each other in a different light. For those of you who are dating or are married to their best friends you can relate to me right?!
So now its August and he is about to serve a mission for two years the following month!
This is Britt opening his Mission Call
So where is he serving? Samoa!! SUPER FAR right??!!!!! I kept thinking to myself "What the heck am I doing?!"But man did it feel good! It felt good to have someone reciprocate your feelings. To make you feel loved and protected!
But after much thought I broke it off. This was hard but I didn't want to become a distraction for him. However, I missed him dearly and after a few letters we decided I would wait for him. Now this is hard for many reasons!! 1st you always hear those stories where is just doesn't turn out well. Sadly the guy decides they are no longer a good fit and guess what?! the girl just lost two years of her life! Second, the distance. Man the distance is killer!!! I have to wait about a month to get a letter from him and usually its dated a few weeks prior to receiving the letter. 3rd and most important the loneliness. You see everyone and their bf and you begin to crave it. You begin to crave that romantic relationship with the opposite sex.
Yet things are good and he is one of the main reasons why I am making so many changes in my life.
Our love story is still developing but I do want to tell you something. Everyone deserves to be loved. If it seems things are just not working out then its simply because the time is not right! Timing is everything. Be patient and trusting of our Heavenly Father, he truly knows best.
Last year was something else. I can actually sit here and laugh about it now, but I kid you not last year I was a HOT MESS!!! Thank God for good friends and the gospel right?!
See last year I used to live at The Brandbury. Perhaps not the safest place but still I liked it. Man life was great! I was rooming with this cool Mexican girl Nadine or aka Nadincita (my bff), Katie aka "Katie Meister" and Hali.
Katie Scalf
Nadine Lugo
I was a pretty active member in my ward. As well I should be I was a ward missionary.(Man I love that calling) Every Sunday we would do potlucks, game nights and even dessert nights. Sundays were the funnest days of the week and jam packed of course!!! This is actually a picture of New Years Eve and New Years Day!! This is just but a 1/3 of the people who would be at our place pretty much every day!
New Years Eve!! (Thanks to Cliff we had an awesome fireworks show)
New Years Day!!! (This is Katie's tradition: Stay in pj's, eat food and watch movies. That day we watched all of the Lord of Rings movies and I think we even started Star Wars!! )
So at the beginning of the year I started a much complicated relationship. It was actually a huge blessing in disguise. He was a good friend but unfortunately feelings were hurt and trust was broken. This was perhaps one of the hardest things I dealt with last year. There is actually no point in dreading over it but it does bring me to my next point.
Trust and Healing.
See, the funny thing about relationships is that it not only allows us to feel emotions that are new and exciting, but it can also open up a lot of unhealed wounds and insecurities. This is what this relationship did. I had to deal with trusting men again (something I struggle with) and loving myself. This has been a constant struggle for me because of my own insecurities. Many times in the past I thought a relationship would validate who I was, but I was dead wrong. You cannot expect your significant other to complete you and make you completely happy, if you are not happy with yourself first. Lets think about it this way. Think of your favorite materialist thing? Does it make you happy once you finally have it? But what happens when it breaks down and you no longer have it? Then what? You are in sq one again right? This is how I felt after the break up. See, I had plan my future with this guy and I thought he would be the answer to many of my problems but I was dead wrong. Perhaps that's what made it hard. The idea that I was wrong. Now girls listen up! Many of us (unfortunately I have been guilty of this too) tend to settle for guys that are not a good fit for us simply so that we are not alone! Yet this is a huge error on our parts. We think "hey its better to have something than to have nothing". (Am I right?!) Yet we cry when ever that guy doesn't fulfill our idea of the ideal man. But honestly that's not their fault its ours! How do you expect a monkey to fly when he has no wings?! Makes no sense right?! We have to learn to love ourselves first. Think of who you are! Your talents. Your own individual beauty. What I did last year which helped a lot was to think about one good thing about me. Every morning I would tell myself something new. If I even thought about something negative about myself I had to come up with three things that were great about myself. (Actually my counselor advice me 10 things and it really worked) Watch this video its called "Daughters of God" I love it and I feel its gets my point across quite well!!!
Here is were the healing process comes into play. This is key to an eternal happiness. I say eternal because I am literally saying you will be eternally happy once you heal those wounds. Now how can you heal a wound that has been buried for so long? I completely understand that question. I loved the metaphor a lady in the temple shared with me when I worked there a few years ago. She said " We cannot plant new flowers in a garden that is full of weeds and dead plants" This should be your first reason to open those wounds. If we want to start over and be better than we have to open up those wounds as painful as they may be. Yet the beauty of this journey is that someone has done the most amazing sacrifice for us so that we can have the strength to endure this tribulation and/or trial!
Our Savior Jesus Christ suffered in Gethsemane for us! What does this mean exactly? Does he actually know exactly what you or I are going through? Can he actually help us to feel peace? The answer is YES! He does and he can. He knows our pain and he will give us the strength he knows we need to over come our wounds and heal completely! That is what the atonement is about. Forgiveness and strength! I had to really come to understand that over the last year. After finding out a few things about my past and going through this relationship I had to learn that bad things happen to everyone even if we don't believe that. But we are NEVER alone. Our Heavenly Father is always there even when we think he is quiet and taking the backseat. But in order to start the healing process we must believe that God can heal us. It requires for us to have faith in Jesus Christ and ourselves! I say ourselves cause many times that can be the stopping sign in our progression route. So what is faith? Well we can always look it up and most answers will say something like "believing in what you don't see". Its quite simple actually, yet faith is like a seed you have to give it water and eventually with time it will grow. So for many of you, don't feel discouraged because you feel your prayers haven't been answered. Remember great things come to pass to those who endure to the end. That's what faith is all about. Enduring!
So here is a very personal yet powerful experience. I share this because I want you to see how the Lord answered my prayers and slowly helped me to heal. One day I was sitting in my room. I was really sad and I couldn't believe how everything was just crashing down before my eyes. I had gone through that break up, and deciding to escape from it I went back home just to receive some bad news about my childhood. Then I come home and my boss decided to steal my money and well life just kept getting worst and worst. I remembered crying inconsolably. I felt so alone. I knew I had good things in my life but all the bad things seemed to outweigh the good things. Now many of us including myself tend to waver a bit when things get hard and we murmur and go against God. I would do that a lot actually. However, I couldn't help but desire to get on my knees and pray. I just poured out my heart. I wasn't sure if he was even gonna listen to me. I felt like he had let me down now and in the past and most importantly I was angry at him and I felt I couldn't trust him.
However in that moment I felt something and I began to feel as though he was right there listening to me. I could actually feel his loving arms around me. I continued to pray and I began having a conversation with him. As I ended my prayer and sat there just thinking of the experience I had and I began to cry. This time it was different. I wasn't crying out of sadness but I was crying more out of relief. Like he had lighten my burdens. I began to see the things that were good in my life. I noticed that I was not alone! That was just the beginning to my healing. I can actually say without a doubt that life has not gotten easier yet my faith in my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ has allowed me to have that strength to carry on. I guess if you get anything out of this loong blog is that you can heal but only through the atonement and only the atonement can bring you eternal happiness. Until next time :D Much love
Writing a blog is perhaps the scariest thing I have
ever done. It’s frightening because you are literally allowing strangers to
enter into your life. I guess it depends on how open you are about some things,
but still that can be a bit intimidating. So I guess the following question
might be, then why do it? Well here is the thing. Over the past couple of
months I have been seriously reflecting on all the things I have gone through.
I thought to myself, there are many out there who perhaps could benefit from me
sharing my stories. Maybe someone can feel relief, and (I am sincerely hoping
this) someone can find hope! Throughout my blog I will use a lot of references
about my beliefs. I am Mormon (btw). Here is a website if you want to learn more (http://mormon.org/eng/)I
do want to apologize beforehand if at any given point I do sound preachy that is
not what this is for at all. I’m here rather to tell my story and hope someone
out there is ready to listen.
Here is the nerd in me; I actually researched quite
a bit on what I would call my blog! I
wanted to make it captivating and meaningful. I brainstormed on what would be
the main focus of my blog. Then it came to me
EVOLUTION!
Before I used to think
evolution and this image would would come to mind.
However what's really Evolution? For me evolution is more than the physical aspect of it. Although evolution is a physical change, I
also believe it does involve an inner change as well. Evolution is exactly what I will be
portraying in my blog. See we humans, we are constantly EVOLVING. That is the whole reason why we are here on
Earth. We are here to grow and learn and eventually go back to our Heavenly
Father. This is only a stage of growth.
As I searched the web for a symbolic image I stumbled across a butterfly.
Although based on studies butterflies do not evolve, but rather go through what
is called “a metamorphosis” I thought it would be quite clever to use
anyways. A butterfly is quite an
intriguing insect. Now I won’t sit here and give you an article on butterflies (that would require me to be knowledgeable on butterflies which I am really not). But I will say this. Butterflies have a lot in common with us. We all aspire to
be that beautiful butterfly. Yet, butterflies go through stages of growth just
like us. There is the caterpillar stage (childhood) then there is the cocoon
stage (adolescence/adulthood) and then the last stage transformation (The
Resurrection). Let me break it down just a bit more...
Caterpillar:
How
many of you have seen a caterpillar before? How does it move around? Can it
defend itself? Does it know where it’s at or where it’s going? We are just like
caterpillars when we are babies. We are soft, delicate and well pretty much
clueless. We depend greatly on our parents to guide us and teach us how to
follow into our next stage.
Cocoon
(pupa): What’s the cocoon stage? How is it relevant to
adolescence or even adulthood? How long does this stage usually take? The
cocoon stage can be from weeks to years it simply depends on the species. We
all go through this stage. We might not physically have that hard shell to
protect us from the world but we have The Savior! He is our protective shell.
He molds us through trials and tribulations so we are ready to enter into our
last and final stage.
Transformation(Final
Stage): Now this is where life gets even better: The
Resurrection. We are now standing before God. We are now ready to transform
into this beautiful butterfly. We have finally become like a butterfly. Perfect
and free.
I guess in short words I felt a butterfly would be a
perfect symbolic creature for my blog. Hope many of you haven’t x out of my
blog. I promise it gets better! Now, I’ll start by writing about my cocoon stage because well this is the best part! I
do hope you enjoy my blog. If you have any comments make sure you post them
because I want to hear them!!! I love you all!!!
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