Forgiveness

Yesterday was a day I perhaps will never forget. There are only a few moments that really tear through my heart and into my soul. Yesterday was one of those days.

I woke up pretty early in the morning to read my scriptures. Something I had decided I wanted to do because I realized 1st I am more alert, 2nd I can start my day with positive words and 3rd I wanted to make sure I was not forgetting to read my scriptures. I read in D&C 107-108 and the two verses that stood out to me the most that day were in D&C 108:4. "Wait patiently..." and verse 8 " And, behold and lo, I am with you to bless you and deliver you forever. Amen." I felt such a peace after reading these words. I knew I had made the right choice.

As I arrived to work I began feeling all this bad feelings. See I used to work at Mongo's and although many of you don't know I faced a lot of discrimination. My boss would yell at me or send me very unprofessional text messages and fairness and equality would just go out the window at work. I always felt unappreciated even when I did the job of two. Well yesterday the boss's son decided to approach me in front of customers and tell me that he was missing three days of tips. Now let me ask you a question. How fair is this?! I work my butt off earn less than the host and do more than the host and at the end of the day I have to give the host 10% of what I make! He never lifted a finger to help, but I figured I needed to do what was right. I told him I had given his tips to the host who had replaced him two days ago. He said that didn't include the last days. He went on to say that I needed to learn how to do my job right! And he just went off. I told him he didn't need to talk to me like that and after noticing that he wasn't going to stop I walked away. Sometimes you just need to walk away. That way you can have time to breath, to think things over and to figure out the best way to approach things. I went to take care of my customers and when I came back he put an envelop in my face and told me that from now on he wanted me to put his money in that envelope. I swear at that moment all I saw was red!!!!!! I was so angry my hand was even shaking. I pretty much told him that I was not trying to steal his money. He dared to call me a THIEF!!!! I told him he will never call me a thief again! I had no need to take his money. No need to!!! I made enough to cover my stuff and 6 dollars less wasn't going to hurt me. As I was leaving for my shift I saw him talking to a co worker. I gave him more than he deserved but I told him that if he ever had a problem with me he needed to come to me! I was so tired of all the professionalism at that place! I was so mad that I as soon as I walked into my friends car I began to cry. I was so humiliated! I was hurt! How can people do things like that and just get away with it?! I mean this is only one thing I am reporting but there were a lot more!!! I came home and talked to my roommate. She consoled me but I was still so angry. Then I got a text from my boss! He pretty much threatened to fire me if that ever happened again. He never let me explain myself and when I wanted to defend myself he called me a liar!!! This made things even worst!!!!!! I decided to get a blessing from two friends in my ward. As soon as the blessing was over I wasn't angry anymore but I was hurt. Yet I was not alone. The Lord was there and my friends were there!

That night I talked to my very good friend and Relief Society President. We read some scriptures and I felt the spirit so strong. I was humbled by the experienced and remember the letter Britt had sent me a few weeks ago.

Then I realized that I have noticed a pattern in my life. I get blessings and then trials come, every time just a bit harder. However, the blessings I receive after I succeed is above all that I can imagine. Now let me just share with you a bit of the great blessings I have received from my HF thus far. A few months ago my mother came. We got to spend some quality time together and this was huge because the last time we saw each other I didn't want to see her again. Soon after she decided she wanted to join the church. This is HUGE!!! I have been teaching her for over 6 years and I never thought she would ever decide to get baptized. Then my sister decides that its time she gets endowed! This is ALSO huge because my sister is so special to me and I am so happy she is moving forward and progressing spiritually. Then the best news of all I got readmitted to BYU. I am able to graduate and have an education and soon a career so I can provide for my family. Still I have not mentioned the greatest blessing my heavenly father could have given me. Britt! I love him so much and I am so happy that we are both eager to get sealed in the temple for all eternity! I am so glad we are both apart for this time. Since he has been gone I have been able to learn more about myself, Britt and I have gotten to know more about each other and grown spiritually closer, and I have been able to establish a relationship with my heavenly father. I have learned to put him first and trust him. Of course with each trial I fear a bit but he never lets me down. I know it now. I know I am not alone.

Actually a few days ago I had a very precious moment. I was crying because I was miserable from work and because I missed having Britt with me to hold me and make me feel safe. As I sat there I felt a voice that spoke to me and said " You are not alone! Come to me. I am here!" Even now I cry because I get so overwhelmed with the great love the lord has for me!

So do we forgive? We all have a choice! This is key to remember. To let go of those feelings and to bring them all to the Lord and allow him to heal you that's your choice. Its hard but its not impossible. Remember:  (We) "can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth (us)." Philippians 4:13. I promise you this, as soon as you allow the Lord to enter your soul and heal you from all that pain and sadness, your spirit will rejoice because you are once again whole!  He has that power, remember this. The Lord knows all. We must always remain strong and faithful even when times get hard. Hold on to the Lord for dear life and he will guide you!

I added this video because the story is so powerful and the message is about forgiveness. Listen to how this man forgave the man who killed his wife and kids. Listen to the peace he felt after he let go of all those feelings. Listen to how he grew closer to God.

I love you all. Please post any comments you may have. Have a great day!!!!